How would you describe 2020 in three words?
A bit shit.
I struggled to come up with six positives but I got there in the end!
So without further ado...
Six of the Worst of 2020
6. I followed a deer into a copse and got slightly lost for several minutes. Although I suspect I entered a time tunnel as, upon my return, daddy appeared to have aged about 10 years.
5. I got beaten up by two cats and sustained a cut to my eye.
4. I became a murder suspect after a neighbour’s cat went missing. Yes, there was a bit of 'roughhousing' on my part, so he probably just needed a few hours to recover. He later turned up, safe and well.
3. I developed an anal abscess that required several days of medication.
2. I spent a night in intensive care with bronchopneumonia. The vet's report said I was 'deteriorating and very poorly'.
1. My own [former] mother unfollowed me on social media.
Six of the Best of 2020
6. I’ve only been left home alone for 57 minutes.
5. Our lodger frequently let me sleep on her bed – and gave me snacks.
4. I finally caught the cat who had been loitering in our garden (see number 4 above).
3. I decided to embrace my grey, so have therefore abandoned my “just for bitches” colouring. Too much palaver.
2. Daddy introduced Bran Flakes into my diet. It’s worked wonders for my anal glands.
1. I’ve finally convinced daddy to get another pet next year. Watch this space…